149. Summer Song Series: Getting Back Your Fight Because You Are Enough

  Hello. Hello, my amazing, beautiful listeners. Happy Summer. Happy July. This is July song Month where I'm sharing some of my favorite songs that remind me of strength, of healing, of worth power, and Inspire, and I hope that they do the same for you. Last summer, I did the same thing with the month of July shared.

Just some songs. I love Music. Music was such a huge part of my healing. It was such a huge part of giving me language to describe what I was feeling. Sometimes when it felt difficult to allow myself to feel certain aspects of my journey, putting on a song would reflect that emotion and help me just to, to process it, to help move it through my body.

Singing to music that y'all like can be so healing and helpful as well. Because as you sing, you move your vocal cords. When you move those, those vocal cords in your throat, You're activating your vagus nerve, which helps to regulate your central nervous system. There's so much more.

To listening and singing to music than maybe you thought.

I'm gonna share a couple songs with you today because I cannot choose between the two of them. They're from a newer artist that I've come to love and really resonate with her story with her songs. I think she has a very similar experience to myself and many of you.

I have two to share with you today that that kind of coincide with the message that that I wanna offer. I would also love to hear your comments. I would love to hear the songs that resonate with you.

Leave some of your favorite songs in the comments or send me an email, maybe I will use that song next summer. As I said, I picked two today.

They are from artist Sarah Reeves, and the two that I love is called Get Back Your Fight. More than enough. I'm gonna read through the lyrics of the song and then just share a little bit of why these songs stood out to me, what I have learned and felt from them.

If you want to hear the song, I will put the link to those songs in the show notes for you.

Unfortunately I can't play them. I don't have rights to the songs to play, But I will for sure send the link and y'all can put it on your own playlist. So the first one is called Get Back Your Fight, and it starts off with 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Counting down till morning comes been a wild one. Been a dark one. Devil's playground. Hope he had fun. Dore Mi fa sola, singing myself. Heartbreak songs got a voice I can't avoid. It helps me heal, so I exploit it.

Maybe someone's in a similar boat. Hope that you feel a little more less alone. Pray to the Lord. Can you please help my soul Knock on the door. Are you out there? Hello? Fear is a lie. We'll be all right. Don't let this battle take days off your life. Sun's gonna shine. Future is bright. Promise. One day you're gonna get back your fight.

Promise. One day you're gonna get back your fight.

Walk in a public place putting on my happy face. How are you? I'm doing fine, but underneath I'm slowly dying. Stuff all my problems down. Make some music drowned out. Learned how learned about the grieving cycle still at stage one. In denial. I think it's time to be honest with me. Healing is hard.

I think we all would agree. Hell got its wish. Got me keeping busy. Verdict is in everybody's guilty. Fear is a lie. We'll be all right. Don't let this battle take days off your life. Sun's gonna shine. Future is bright. Promise. One day you're gonna get back your fight. Promise. One day you're gonna get back your fight.

I love this song. I love the lyrics, and I love the reminder, the motivation, the hope. Especially when you are in the absolute thick of it, like she described those days where people say, Hey, how are you? And you're like, fine. But you are absolutely dying inside the moments where you feel like you're walking through hell and just holding onto the promise that one day you will get you back.

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 feels like some days you're counting down to survive the next hour, the next morning, the next heartbreak, get back. Your fight opens with this energy and it just resonates, I think with so many of you certainly does with me when you've been through the kind of betrayal that. Takes your breath, takes your voice, and takes your sense of self.

I resonate with the lyric. Been a wild one. Been a dark one. Devil's playground. Hope he had fun. lyrics for me. Really capture the disorientation and the spiritual confusion that betrayal can often bring. That feeling of living in someone else's chaos and being sometimes blamed for it, wondering if you're going absolutely crazy.

So many women that I work with feel like they've lost that internal compass going through a lifesaving divorce. They're confused and really they're used to fighting against, fighting against lies, against gaslighting. Against the judgment of, of their partner, their soon to be ex, his family, other people, and that that kind of fight is exhausting.

But because they're fighting to survive and fighting in that way, they've stopped fighting for themselves. BeReal trauma can often lead to this learned helplessness. The state where you start believing that nothing you do will ever make a difference. that's when I often hear women or see it in them, where they just feel like they've lost their fight they wanna give up. And my gosh, do I remember being there wanting to absolutely give up, not just.

Give up the fight, but really just give up and not want to even live anymore. It was just too hard to continue fighting against this devil's playground, like the lyric that she uses there, I.

when we don't have boundaries, hold boundaries, it makes this fight even more exhausting.

then we stop fighting for ourself because we're fighting so hard against. So a question to ask yourself here is, where have I stopped fighting for myself because the fight against felt too heavy. Take some time to self-reflect on that. The other lyric that stood out to me is the one. Is when she says, learned about the grieving cycles still at stage one. In denial. This is just a gentle reminder. A good reminder in this lyric, the grief isn't linear, and denial doesn't always look like pretending everything is fine. Sometimes denial is distraction.

Sometimes it's over functioning, over spiritualizing or telling yourself that you've forgiven when really what you did is just bury the pain. Remember, denial is a survival strategy, especially in betrayal trauma. It can keep you, however, from facing that full depth of, of what happened, really keeping you from that, that radical, accepting things as they are, because oftentimes denial keeps us in.

The should have, shouldn't maybe if, because sometimes to face it. See things as they are means that everything or a lot of things are gonna change.

Telling yourself it wasn't that bad. Calling it moving on when you're actually suppressing anger and heartbreak. Feeling maybe proud of your strength, but we're ignoring that your stomach. Knots up every time his name pops up. So a question here to ask yourself is What truth might I still be protecting myself from, and what would it feel like to be honest with myself about that? Another line here that I love, it's the chorus of the song. Fear is a lie. We'll be all right. Don't let this battle take days off your life. Such a powerful chorus. She says it over and over and it's just, again, a really beautiful reminder and gives that hope that, okay.

Don't give into the fear. Your brain is gonna make up a bunch of stuff, really, we can get stuck if we let fear win. There's a point where you realize the battle isn't out there anymore, meaning outside of you, or with the ex, it's internal. The real fight is for your clarity, for you staying grounded for your ability to trust yourself in every way.

Trust your body, trust your ability to feel your emotions, and trust your intuition.

Fear is that catabolic energy, that tearing down energy growth purpose is the anabolic energy, the the shift in intention that has the energy of choice.

The fight here honestly becomes sacred, whether it's setting a parenting boundary, not from anger, but from alignment, whether it's choosing to rest rather than overwork to prove your worth or speaking your story without defending or apologizing for it. A good question here to ask yourself is, how can I reclaim the kind of fight? That feels aligned with my truth, not just my pain.

Really, I think with this song, get Your Fight Back. What the message that I wanted to convey is I, I see so many of you fighting every day, fighting to get up out of bed, fighting to get in the shower, fighting to take care of your kids, fighting to pay the bills, fighting against the text messages that won't stop.

That continue to gaslight or have a lot of that covert abuse going on, fight to get a sense of clarity with all the reality fragmentation. There's so much that so many of you are fighting against right now. This real shift that I wanna offer with this song is to get your fight back and it's the fight for you. Fight for. The ability to slow down. The ability to choose according to your inspiration.

Fight for your voice that speaks truth, your truth.

Fighting to hold your boundaries that protect your safety. Fighting to help regulate your ne, your nervous system. Fighting for your peace. Really, it's the, the shift of fight from external to internal and the internal fight from and fight for is gonna be the empowering kind of fight that I really feel when I hear this song.

Okay. The other song by Sarah Raves that I love is called More Than Enough, and here are the lyrics to that one. You think you need a body next to you to keep you warm and safe and bulletproof? Guess you got comfy in the crazy cozy and the hazy lies started sounding like truth.

You're feeling stuck inside this vicious loop. we are codependents, like it's super glue. So scared to face all of the changes. You're nothing but anxious. Really? What do you have to lose? Somewhere deep inside your soul. Still that child you used to know might be wounded. You are not broke.

Listen, listen close. Who told you you were hard to love? Who told you you weren't good enough, who broke your heart and made you believe that you won't be anything without her? who stole all of your happiness, who almost pushed you off the edge? Don't need their arms to make you complete. Don't take a genius to see that you are baby.

You are more than enough baby. You are more than enough. You're more than enough. So raise a glass to all the baby steps for not giving up. When you are scared to death, you've been through hell and high water, you're coming out stronger. Exhale, take a deep breath. Somewhere deep inside your soul, still that child you used to know might be wounded.

You are not broke. Listen, listen close. Who told you you were hard to love? Who told you you weren't good enough? Who broke your heart and made you believe that you won't be anything without her? Who stole all of your happiness, who almost pushed you off the edge? Don't need their arms to make you complete.

Don't take a genius to see. I. That you baby are more than enough. More than enough. More than enough. I absolutely love that song. Of course, that message resonates with me so much. It's one of the phrases, the beliefs that I feel for me in my journey was absolutely shredded. in all honesty, I don't really feel like I cultivated a true embodied belief that I was enough.

I was really living in that place that maybe I'm enough. If I do all the things, if I'm perfect, if I show up right, if I don't get it wrong or mess it all up, then I'm enough. there was always something subtracting from that a hundred percent enough to really shift. That for me, took a lot of healing and a lot of work, a lot of intentional thinking, and it's one of the motivators.

Behind my work. I want women everywhere to also embody this belief that they are absolutely more than enough.

The line that says, guess you got comfy in the crazy Coke. In the hazy and lies start sounding like truth. Oh my gosh. how validating that is in the fog of manipulation and, survival, where your central nervous system is learned to be so codependent in this unsafe, unhealthy relationship.

This is where a lot of you have experienced that trauma bond in the relationship because there's been so much emotional abuse.

your nervous system learned to attach to that. So it really minimized the betrayal that was happening in so many ways.

The line that says you're feeling stuck in the vicious loop. Oh my goodness. The loop. The loop, the spin, the Ferris wheel, whatever analogy you wanna use, when you believe that you're enough, you have boundaries that. pulls you out of that loop.

Scared to face all the changes. With you're nothing but anxious. Oh my gosh. The amount of changes that happen when you are going through something like this, a slice saving divorce, there's so much that changes, so much so that if you really recognized or saw all of them all at once, it would absolutely destroy you. oftentimes when I'm working with clients, It's a process of a thousand many funerals especially that first year, there's so much change that happens in that first year. And with every change is another identification of a loss that's associated with that change.

So not only in, in addition to changes that you're making, maybe in your living situation, maybe you're working now, the change in how much time you have with your children, like those are really big, huge changes in of itself. That can create a lot of anxiousness, but then there's just. These additional changes that we really don't anticipate or even know 'cause we can't prepare for them.

They, they come as we continue to move forward after divorce, change in friendships, change in our body.

Change in how we see the world.

I love how she validates that you might be wounded but you're not broke because you are a hundred percent enough of worth and value. No matter what's happened, it validates the statement. We got wounded in so many ways, but your enoughness, like your intrinsic higher self isn't less than, it isn't broken that a hundred percent hasn't been docked from.

So you might be wounded, but you are not broken. your higher self, who you really are, is not broke.

I love how she validates that healing is baby steps and to raise a glass to all the baby steps for not giving up when you were absolutely scared to death. How many of you can just pause a moment and look back? I. A choice that you've made maybe even recently, where a few months prior, year prior, few years prior, you were scared to death to make this choice that you've just made.

Seeing that few months ago. Years ago, there's no way in hell you ever thought you could be where you're at right now, but here you are. One step at a time making these choices

because like she says, somewhere deep inside your soul, that child that you used to know might be wounded but not broke because that part of you is more than enough.

Sometimes we're still looking for some sense of validation or acknowledgement of the pain from our ex, some ownership in the pain that they caused, some comfort even.

The reminder in her lyric that we don't need their arms to make us complete. I think it's so much deeper than that. We don't need their validation, even their acknowledgement to make us complete or to help us heal or to somehow validate or make us feel enough. Being able to let go of that is real freedom.

When you believe that you are more than enough, you're able to get your fight back. So I feel like these two songs really go together. You can get that fight for yourself from the inside out. Fighting for that clarity, fighting for that peace. Fighting for your ability to create the life that you want will be more available to you when you really do embody and believe this belief that you are more, so much, more than enough, not because of all the things that you do,

but merely because you exist. I hope today is a reminder that you are the chooser in your life. No matter what's been taken, no matter what's been said, no matter what you've been through, you still get to choose what happens next.

You can choose to get your personal fight back. Not the exhausting kind, but the sole anchored kind, the truth rooted kind You can choose to believe fully and finally that you are more than enough   📍 and not because someone said so, not because you proved anything, but simply because you can take care everybody.